[LeThanhPhong]

[Quora]What did your mother or father say to you when you were young that you remembered your whole life?

Answered by Kupferman Judy:

My mother made us greet my father when he came home from work every day with the words “Hi Papa, did you have a nice day?”

We were children and couldn’t have cared less whether he had a nice day or not. I asked her why we had to say that, and she said it would make him feel good. I think that gave me the brand new idea that one should make people feel good if possible, even if it’s little things.

My mother also - even when I was an adult - prompted me to phone people, or to write them. Her sister had cancer, off in the US, and she told me to write her a letter. So I wrote her a nice concerned letter and my mother told me how moved her sister was. And so, years later when another relative abroad was ill I wrote her as well. (This was before internet).

My grandparents were on vacation in Jerusalem, it was a holiday eve and my mother told me to phone them to say happy holiday. I was dubious, I figured they were busy and why would they want to hear from me. But I did so. They were pleased, and in fact my grandfather went into the hospital the next day, and that turned out to be the last time I ever spoke to him.

My parents were on vacation some years later, also in Jerusalem, and it was Friday afternoon and I thought of phoning them - and was dubious for the same reason. (I had a great relationship with grandparents and with them - just figured that on holiday people had other things in mind besides chatting with me.) However, I remembered what my mother had instilled in me, and phoned them to say Shabbat Shalom. Those were in fact the last words my father said to me - he passed away that night.

In short, although I had always viewed my father as the wise one in the family (and he was), it is my mother who instilled in me the understanding that you need to do things to make people feel good, and to make an effort for them, call them up, and so on.