GRT: Kiến Thức Linh Tinh - LTP
Đọc sách và chăm học đã giúp người viết thoát khỏi cuộc sống nghèo khổ.
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(Quora) What was the hardest thing you went through in life and how did you get past that?

Answered by Anonymous:


I was repeatedly raped by a neighbor when I was 7 years old. I didn't want my mother to find out, because she was a single mother working 3 jobs to support me and my brother and she cried enough as it was. We lived in a trailer that had holes in the floor so that sometimes raccoons and opossums would climb through. I was scared of them. The carpet was infested with fleas. I usually had flea bites all over my body. I never felt clean. We got clothes from Goodwill but they were usually old, faded, and stained. My mother did the best she could but we were all alone in the world. We lived in a rural area that was unforgiving of those who deviated from "the norm." My mother tried to baptize me when I was a baby, only to be turned away by the local preacher because I was "a bastard." We were not welcome in their churches, which were an important part of rural life there. I didn't have friends at school. I was "weird" "dirty" "ugly" "too quiet" etc. Even most of the teachers looked at me and my brother in disgust. We were "the XXX family."

I grew up with the understanding that I was worthless. That I should be ashamed of who I am. I barely said a word through most of my childhood. I didn't say a word to anyone when they pushed me around, taunted me endlessly, beat up my brother and I. I never said a word when my neighbor (who, interestingly, was widely regarded as an outstanding member of society) raped me.

I led a very solitary life. My mother was usually gone at work, my brother would devote himself to his own activities, and there I was. I remember I would sit outside of my home and pretend to be a rock, because rocks didn't feel anything and they certainly didn't cry. They were indestructible, I thought.

I overheard one of the other little girls discussing the prayer they said before bedtime and I resolved to remember it. It went like this - As I lay down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep, if I shall die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take.

I thought about this prayer for the rest of the day, until I went home and decided on my own version: Dear God, I don't want to live anymore. There are other people begging you to keep them alive. Let me take their place. I'll die. I was about 8 years old.

But I didn't die, much to my dismay. I woke up the next day, and the day after that, and the day after that. The days went by. My situation didn't greatly improve, people weren't much nicer to me, and my life didn't get easier. But I got stronger. I discovered books as a way to escape from my tedious existence and by the time I was in 5th grade, I was reading at a college level.

I grew up and gained control over my life. I was no longer the defenseless, powerless victim I had been as a child. I had power. I could do whatever I wanted. I got a job. I studied hard so I could go to a good college. I escaped from my small, unforgiving town.

I have a good job now and good relationships. People who know me now would never guess I was once that hungry, miserable, terrified, beaten down little girl I had been back then.

As for my family, my mother still lives in that trailer. My neighbor is long dead. My older brother still lives with my mother. He has never gotten a driver's license or a job. He doesn't leave the house very often. A part of me understands his reluctance - why let the world do you more harm when it has already done so much? But I wish he would take the chance. I feel sad that our childhood all but destroyed him.
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The physical process of dying

https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/amp/arti...s-of-dying

Key facts
  • When someone is dying, their heartbeat and blood circulation slow down.
  • The brain and organs receive less oxygen than they need and so work less well.
  • In the days before death, people often begin to lose control of their breathing.
  • It’s common for people to be very calm in the hours before they die.
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The comments of this thread are very educational and interesting.

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(Quora) I'm going to be homeless in 6 days, do you have any tips?

Answered by Ben Chandler:


  1. Rent a PO Box, ASAP. It’s not a home, but it IS a place where you can receive mail, receive most (though not all) online purchases, and it’s an address you can use on forms.
  2. Buy a laptop, even if it’s a terrible used one, or even a terrible new one at Wal-Mart.
  3. Get some sort of gym membership with showers.
  4. I assume you have a mobile phone, but if you somehow don’t, buy one ASAP.
  5. Whatever you do, don’t let your checking account fall into bad standing and ultimately get canceled. Things will be 100 times harder if this happens.
  6. Whatever you do, don’t allow your driver’s license to expire. Everything will be 1,000 times harder if this ever happens.
  7. If your budget allows, consider renting a storage unit for your things. If you’re really lucky, you might be able to rent a climate controlled one, and the owner may even let you spend the night and turn a blind eye to it.
  8. I assume you have a car, so you can store some things in the back seat. This could include changes of clothes.
  9. Get familiar with your town, and figure out all the places where you can park on the street overnight.
  10. Buy a sleeping bag.
  11. Buy a portable camping stove. The stove fuel might seem costly, but it will be far cheaper than eating takeout food 2–3 times a day.
  12. Look up resources for those in a terrible way, because there might be something. Whether it’s free food, a way to apply for subsidized housing, etc. Even if it doesn’t work out for you, at least look it up.
  13. Learn where the laundromats are.
  14. Learn where the printing shops (e.g. Kinko’s) are. You might not need to print much these days, but on occasion you might need to, even nowadays. On a really rare occasion you might need to fax, though that too is unlikely.
  15. You possibly used drugs at some point in the past. Whatever you do, don’t slip back into that because things are rough and you’re miserable, because that will be a quick path straight to hell.
  16. Tell as few people as possible that you’re homeless. This will rarely work to your advantage, and misconceptions from false perceptions will often serve to hurt you.
  17. If you have a job, do whatever it takes to keep it.
  18. If the homelessness is the result of an eviction, it might be hard to rent again regardless of your financial circumstances. If and when you can, ask if hotels can offer you monthly rates at a steep discount. Point out high vacancy rates throughout the year if the management is too resistant. If your financial situation allows but the eviction does not, consider a mortgage. Mortgage applications don’t consider evictions, though they do consider credit, which could be bad if the eviction is the result of not paying rent on time.
That’s all I can think of for now. Hope this helps someone.
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THẦN Y ĐẮP CHIẾU
Tác giả: Bùi Ngọc phúc.

1
Chạy xong cuốc khách, tôi vừa dựng xe trên vỉa hè chưa kịp làm cốc trà đá, bất ngờ có hai mẹ con dáng lam lũ bước đến hỏi:
-Bác có biết nhà Thần Y Đắp Chiếu không.
Biết ngay khách ở tỉnh xa về Hà Nội chữa bệnh nên tôi chốt ngay:
-Nhà ông Điếu bên Ngọc Lâm, ông này nổi danh trên mạng với danh xưng Thần Y Đắp Chiếu đúng không, hai mẹ con cho xin 120 ngàn sẽ được chở đến tận cửa nhà.
Bác bớt cho hai mẹ con vài chục được không, quả thật để về Hà Nội chữa bệnh nhà em vừa phải bán đi lứa lợn đang vào kì vỗ béo. Con em đi khám nhiều nơi không khỏi, may có bác cùng làng xem trên mạng nên biết đến danh Thần Y Đắp Chiếu. Nghe bà mẹ trình bày một tràng dài khiến tôi mủi lòng, dắt con xe dream nát xuống đường cho dễ nổ máy, tôi gật đầu:
-Thôi sáng mùng một nên tôi lấy 80 ngàn vậy, bây giờ gọi xe khác nó bắt chẹt giá gấp đôi lại còn đi lòng vòng còn hơn cả city tour.
Lúc xe chạy qua cầu Long Biên, bà mẹ rụt rè hỏi:
-Em nghe nói nhà Thần Y Đắp Chiếu sẽ chữa được các loại bệnh đúng không bác.
Tôi không rõ, nhưng mỗi ngày ông khám bệnh và kê đơn bốc thuốc cho khoảng 200 người. Vừa chạy xe tôi vừa trả lời, bởi vì mấy lần chở khách đến nhà Thần Y Đắp Chiếu, lần nào tôi cũng thấy con bệnh khắp các tỉnh về xếp hàng còn đông hơn cả bệnh viện tuyến trung ương. Bà mẹ cũng thú thật, em thấy mấy người làng em có in tơ nét nên họ nắm được nhiều thông tin, cũng vì thế mẹ con em mới quyết về Hà Nội một chuyến xem sao. Câu chuyện rôm rả cộng thêm việc không tắc đường, chẳng mấy lúc tôi đã chở hai mẹ con đến nhà Thần y đắp chiếu. Hai mẹ con ở hiền gặp lành, Thần Y Đắp Chiếu vừa khám chữa bệnh cho một đợt xong, trong lúc các con bệnh đang nằm đắp chiếu, Thần Y Đắp Chiếu cho gọi những người tiếp theo. Do đưa người bệnh đến nơi này nhiều, vì thế tôi biết danh xưng Thần Y Đắp Chiếu từ đâu ra. Mọi con bệnh từ già đến trẻ, từ ung thư giai đoạn 4 cho đến bệnh nhân thoát vị đĩa đệm hay sa dạ con, tất cả đều phải đắp chiếu mới mong lành bệnh.

2
Vị Thần Y Đắp Chiếu béo núc bắt đầu leo lên sập ngồi, trong lúc đó trợ lý của Thần Y Đắp Chiếu cầm micro gọi tên từng bệnh nhân, do hay đến đây nên tôi được ông coi như chỗ quen biết, nếu khát có thể mở tủ lạnh lấy đồ uống thoải mái. Tiếng loa gọi tên:
Hoàng Ngọc Phấn 45 tuổi, đến từ Quảng Ninh.
Ngay lập tức một bệnh nhân lò dò bước ra, Thần Y Đắp Chiếu hỏi:
-Bệnh gì:
-Em mắc lao phổi nên rất khó thở, vào viện không thấy khỏi mong Thần Y ra tay cứu giúp.
Thần Y Đắp Chiếu nói to cho mọi người biết về sự tinh thông y thuật của mình:Kể cả cô vít cô veo đến đây thầy chữa được hết, khỏi phải lăn tăn. Sau đó Thần Y Đắp Chiếu bấm đốt ngón tay nói; Bính Thìn mệnh Thổ hợp màu nâu, mau ra nộp tiền mua chiếu đúng màu. Thấy bệnh nhân không hiểu, Thần Y Đắp Chiếu nói: Ông có biết vào viện trước khi mổ phải mua chỉ khâu và bông băng không hả, bác sĩ lo khám chữa bệnh còn vật tư y tế người nhà phải bỏ tiền ra mua.
Cao hứng nên Thần Y Đắp Chiếu còn khuyến mại tiếp; Kể cả mổ phanh hay mổ moi, nếu đang mổ cần truyền máu lúc đó người nhà phải cầm giấy đi mua, chẳng may gặp máu hiếm phải huy động ba đời chín họ đến mà cho máu. Nói mua cái chiếu còn tiếc, bảo sao bệnh mãi không khỏi.
Cô trợ lý ngồi bên vội đính chính:
-Thầy nói nhầm mổ moi, thật ra là mổ nội soi.
Mai Thu Quế 38 tuổi đến từ Bắc Giang.
Đến lượt cô gái là khách đi xe của tôi bước vào, Thần Y Đắp Chiếu phán ngay:
-Tuổi Quí Hợi 83 mệnh Thuỷ hợp màu nâu, mau mua chiếu đúng màu cho tôi, chữa vô sinh đơn giản, có bà mãn kinh đến đây tôi còn chữa cho 2 năm đẻ ba đứa.
Cô gái nghe lời ghé ra cửa chọn chiếu rồi thanh toán một triệu đồng cho vợ Thần Y Đắp Chiếu ngồi bán. Nhìn mặt cô ánh lên niềm hy vọng vì gặp được quí nhân.
Vị khách thứ ba đến chữa bệnh tiểu đường, sinh năm 1962, Thần Y Đắp Chiếu phán rất nhanh:
-Bà tuổi Nhâm Dần mệnh Kim, hãy mua manh chiếu màu vàng rồi vào đây, nhanh không đến giờ tôi nhập thất để luyện đan.
Ba con bệnh mỗi người cắp một manh chiếu theo Thần Y Đắp Chiếu vào một gian phòng nhỏ, ông liền dặn ngay:
-Ai có đồ trang sức hay đồ kim loại đeo trong người phải tháo ra khi đắp chiếu, nếu không bệnh sẽ không khỏi được.
Tôi đứng bên cạnh tỏ vẻ hiểu biết nói thêm vào:
-Chắc thầy sợ bị nhiễu giống như chụp cộng hưởng từ đúng không.
Thần Y Đắp Chiếu gật gù vẻ tán đồng.

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Theo yêu cầu của Thần Y Đắp Chiếu, ba con bệnh lần lượt cởi quần áo ngoài rồi chui vào chiếu, riêng cô gái đến từ Bắc Giang có vẻ ngại ngần, cô liền bị Thần Y Đắp Chiếu mắng xối xả; Vào đây bệnh nhân ai cũng như ai, có muốn sinh con không. Nghe đến sinh con, ngay lập tức cô gái trút bỏ trang phục.
Nhìn bộ đồ lót cô gái màu xanh, Thần Y Đắp Chiếu gắt lên:
-Thôi cởi nốt cho tôi nhờ, màu đó không hợp mệnh.
Bà tiểu đường 59 tuổi nghe thế vội lắp bắp nói:
-Chị cũng mặc đồ lót không hợp mệnh, thôi chị cởi ngay.
Thần Y Đắp Chiếu lắc đầu:
-Bà hết trứng rồi, mau chui vào chiếu cho tôi nhờ.
Sau nửa tiếng nằm im, vị Thần Y Đắp Chiếu pha một xô nước thuốc rồi tưới vào từng chiếu như người ta tưới cây, nước thuốc chảy ngấm qua da thịt các con bệnh khiến tiếng ho sù sụ vì lạnh vang lên, riêng cô Mai Thu Quế được yêu cầu chui ra khỏi chiếu.
Thần Y Đắp Chiếu giải thích:
-Cô bị tắc vòi trứng, vì thế muốn có con phải đổi tư thế kiểu Phượng Hoàng tắm nắng, đây là phương pháp gia truyền không ai biết được.

Mặc cho bệnh nhân xấu hổ, Thần Y Đắp Chiếu vặn vẹo xoay đủ tư thế cho thiếu phụ, thỉnh thoảng ngài còn đưa tay xoa bóp hai bầu vú, miệng nói để giúp lưu thông khí huyết. Bà Nhâm Dần cũng không phải dạng vừa, nằm trong chiếu bà tự lột hết đồ rồi chui ra đòi học theo cách đó, bởi vì bà cho rằng mất tiền như nhau phải được chữa giống nhau, vị Thần Y Đắp Chiếu bực mình giải thích:
-Mỗi bệnh có một cách chữa khác nhau, người ta là Phượng Hoàng tắm nắng còn bà là giống gì biết không.
Buổi chữa bệnh kết thúc, tất cả các con bệnh đều phải mua đủ 7x7 = 49 thang thuốc của Thần Y Đắp Chiếu với số tiền hơn 5 triệu. Trước khi chia tay, các con bệnh được hẹn tái khám sau hai tuần nữa, riêng chỗ chiếu sẽ không được dùng lại vì Thần Y đã tưới thuốc lên rồi, lần sau lại mua chiếu mới vẫn theo đúng màu hợp mệnh

4
Trưa nay tôi đưa cô gái ở Bắc Giang đến tái khám, vừa nhìn thấy tôi bà vợ Thần Y Đắp Chiếu đã khóc lóc tỏ lòng tiếc thương chồng, bà kể lể:
-chồng em đã sinh nghề tử nghiệp lại mất vào giờ linh.
Tôi và bệnh nhân đều kinh ngạc hỏi:
- Thần Y Đắp Chiếu sao không chữa được bệnh cho mình.
Ngồi bên đống chiếu ế do không bán được, bà vợ Thần Y giải thích rõ; Tuần trước lãochồng em đi ăn cỗ, chắc có tí men rượu nên mát ga lao xe máy vào đuôi một chiếc ô tô đậu ven đường. Lúc được tin báo em vội chạy ra đến nơi, chồng em đã nằm đắp chiếu ngay vệ đường không lời trăng trối.
Tôi thở dài an ủi:
-Thôi sống chết có số, chị cũng mang đống chiếu này ra vỉa hè bán để thu hồi vốn.
Vừa nghe đến từ chiếu, vợ Thần Y Đắp Chiếu vội rít lên đau khổ:
-Điều em ân hận nhất là lão ý không được đắp chiếu hợp mệnh.
Không sao đâu, chị chọn lấy chục cái chiếu hợp mệnh rồi đốt cho lão ý là ổn ngay, tôi đành hiến kế cho xong.
Chia tay vợ Thần Y Đắp Chiếu, tôi ngậm ngùi chở khách hàng ra bến xe, không phải tôi thương tiếc gì lão đó, tôi buồn vì sắp tới sẽ ế khách hơn trước.
Lúc tiễn cô Mai Thu Quế lên xe ô tô, tôi dặn dò:
-Em chịu khó vào mạng tìm sẽ có hàng ngàn vị Thần Y, kiểu gì chả túm được một Thần Y chữa bệnh cho mình, khi nào về Hà Nội nhớ gọi cho anh.
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Hết

Sưu tầm
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Parrotfish | Most Important Fish In The World | The Planet Voice




One of the most stunning and significant fish in the world is the parrotfish.

The fish get their name from their dental structure and the way their teeth are organized in their mouth and throat.

The 90% of the day spent by the beautiful tropical parrotfish is consuming algae from coral reefs.

This nearly continual eating helps the corals stay healthy and growing by doing the necessary chore of cleaning the reefs.


Humphead Parrotfish Eat Rocks and Defecate Sand (Short YouTube)
https://youtube.com/shorts/CdSsYEUxm28?feature=share
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ƯỚC GÌ 

Đang đi thì trời mưa.Không áo mưa phải trú vào hè nhà. Mấy chị hàng rong chạy hối hả tìm chỗ núp mưa. Một đầu gánh bốc khói nóng hổi ủi vào chân tôi cùng giọng nói đứt quãng: "Chị giúp em, cho em gửi bánh vào trong..".

Gánh bánh hấp được cẩn thận đưa vào sát tường nhà và chị lấy thân che kín phần bột vừa được đậy thêm cái nón lá... Nhìn tôi đứng sát mép nước mưa hắt ướt áo,chị cười e... ngại "Chị thông cảm nhen, mưa ướt.. cả nhà em lại phải ăn hết bánh này trừ cơm...hết vốn luôn ". Tôi đập đập vai chị như đang đập vào ký ức mình..

Tôi, ngày xưa... Mưa, tôi có thể ướt như chuột nhưng sổ điểm của học trò và số vải mà tôi thêu thuê cho tiệm may phải giữ tuyệt đối khô. Mà Mưa ở vùng cửa biển thường kèm gió rất kinh khiếp. Không thể trú mưa, tôi căng người chịu lạnh để dành áo mưa che vải và sổ; cố đạp xe ngược gió về nhà vì cu con 5 tuổi của tôi đi học đã về và đang ngồi chóc ngóc bên hiên nhà tập thể đợi mẹ...

Rút hai bì thư vừa đi họp có được để đổi hết số bánh trên mặt mâm; chị nhìn tôi bối rối, cười như mếu,tay run run gói bánh... Tôi tặng lại gia đình chị một gói bánh to. Chắc hôm nay, chị ăn bánh sẽ có vị khác.

Ước gì, tất cả những người mẹ sẽ không bi ướt lạnh, không phải chảy nước mắt khi bươn chải vất vả vì miếng cơm manh áo của con mình.. Ôi cuộc sống sao mãi gian nan...

TG: Thanh Bùi
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Protecting your mental wellness on social media - Mental Health Commission of Canada

https://mentalhealthcommission.ca/resour...ial-media/


Take stock of how your feeds make you feel

The next time you finish scrolling, take a moment to think about how you’re feeling. While it’s easy to miss small changes when you quickly move on to something else, even short periods of lowered mood, self-doubt, or anxiety add up over time. After checking in a few times, you may notice that even “harmless” content noticeably affects the way you feel — especially when your consumption level is high and repetitive.

Understand what’s happening in your brain

For the brain, seeing is believing. For example, even if you know intellectually that a photo has been heavily retouched, it’s difficult for your brain to make that distinction. And since humans respond strongly to visual stimulants, most of us are compelled to continue scrolling even when those images make us feel insecure or not good enough.

We’re also reeled in by the hit of dopamine, the feel-good hormone that kicks in when we’re using a medium that offers us easy wins. Likes, hearts, shares, and comments give us bite-sized endorphin rushes, without requiring much in the way of effort. Understanding these and other neurological processes at play are an important part of safe social media consumption.


Try not to compare

While it’s natural to compare your own experiences with online content, remember that you’re looking at a curated version of reality. Even without filters or Facetune, individual users (and organizations) carefully select what they want the world to see. To protect your mental well-being, treat social media like a movie: through the lens of entertainment rather than reality.

Put some usage boundaries in place

If logging in to your social media accounts feels more like a habit than a conscious choice, try removing the temptation. Leave your phone out of sight or beyond reach while doing other activities or else keep it out of your bedroom at night. When your phone is accessible, set some additional boundaries around consumption, whether that means logging in only between certain hours or for a set amount of time.

Get strict about curation

While you can’t control everything you see on social media, you can be highly selective about who and what you subscribe to. The simple rule: Don’t follow anyone or anything that doesn’t serve you. If posts from an account leave you feeling less-then, unfollow or block them. You can also take charge of the algorithms that give you more of what you use most often by focusing on feel-good content.

Start over (or step away entirely)

Although the dreaded FOMO (fear of missing out) might make social media feel essential, for most of us it’s not. Don’t feel compelled to stay on any platform that isn’t serving you. Try taking a week off — you can even delete apps without losing any personal content — and see how you feel. When (or if) you return, consider starting from scratch. You can unfollow everything and everyone, then start over with more selective content. Also, the fewer accounts you’re subscribed to, the less time it will take to get “caught up.” If you decide you’d rather leave one or more platforms for longer, that’s OK too! A temporary FOMO is a small price to pay for improved mental wellness.
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(Quora) What was your kindest white lie you've told?

(This thread has a few interesting answers.  :) )

1/ Answered by Claudia Becker:

I told my Grandma that my Mom was shopping and would see her later. You see, my Mom died in 2002 of a stroke. My Grandma outlived two of her three children. Grandma was in a nursing home with dementia. She thought she worked there (she was a nurse for 45 years). We would visit my Grandma every week and she would ask where my Mother was. My Dad would tell her she died and Grandma would grieve fresh all over again. I told Dad that we would not put her through that anymore. We would tell her that Mom had to pick up groceries and would see her later. That was enough for Grandma to just enjoy our visits. Eventually, she just began thinking I was my Mom, so I was whoever she needed me to be and just loved me anyway. She died 6 years after my Mom at 97. I miss her feisty self.

2/ Answered by Nancy Walsh:

Actually I have two white lies stories. The one I will tell is, I live in Florida in an over 55 community, at the time I was about 60 or 61, a neighbor mid 80’s, who lived a couple streets away from me had dementia. One day I saw her walking down by my house towards the river. I went out to see her, she said she saw a church but couldn’t find it. Became a little bit upset and agitated. I said that I saw it too and it really looked like a church but it was a sailboat. She accepted this and I was able to calm her and walk her home. Her son was supposed to be watching her, he wasn’t doing a good job. She went into a nursing facility soon after.
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Telling a 'white lie' may affect one's ability to recognize emotions

https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/article...ig%20deal.

If you lie to someone, you may find it more difficult to tell what that other person is thinking or feeling. This is the main takeaway of a new study that examines the ‘unintended consequences of dishonest behavior.’

Even a minor dishonest deed can impair our ability to read others’ emotions, new research finds.

Whether it is suffering or joy, empathy helps us feel what another person feels, and — a lot of the time — our ability to empathize is the reason why we choose to do good deeds and help one another.

But does this mean that empathy and ethical behavior are one and the same? What is the relationship between dishonest acts and empathetic feelings?

New research, led by Ashley E. Hardin, assistant professor of organizational behavior at Olin Business School at Washington University in St. Louis., answers some of these questions by looking at how unethical, or dishonest acts affect “empathic accuracy,” or the ability to read another person’s emotions.

Hardin and colleagues found that dishonest deeds can “harm interpersonal relationships through a particular channel: individuals’ ability to detect others’ emotions.”

The researchers published their findings in the Journal of Experimental Psychology: General.

Dishonesty affects ’empathic accuracy’
Hardin and colleagues carried out eight studies totaling more than 2,500 participants whom they placed in various scenarios.

Hardin and colleagues concluded that there is a “causal relationship” between a person’s dishonest behavior and their ability to empathize with another person’s emotions. Lying and cheating make people less able to read another person’s feelings accurately.

The research also identified an underlying mechanism for this relationship. The team found that people who are more prone to dishonest behavior are less likely to define themselves relationally, or “in terms of close relationships” with their relatives or friends.

Also, the study revealed that “impaired empathic accuracy” has negative consequences that may trickle down into further interactions with people.

Because an initial dishonest act impairs a person’s ability to detect another’s emotions, this may lead to increased dehumanization of the other and an increased number of immoral acts. “It can be a vicious cycle,” explains lead author Hardin.

“Sometimes people will tell a white lie and think it’s not a big deal. But a decision to be dishonest in one moment will have implications for how you interact with people subsequently.”
(Ashley E. Hardin)

Finally, when people are more socially sensitive, the research found, they are less likely to behave in a dishonest way.

Hardin and team measured social sensitivity by examining the participants’ “vagal reactivity” — a standard physiological measure of compassion and empathy with the suffering of others.

“When individuals are lacking their physiological capacity for social sensitivity, they may be more susceptible to the social distancing effects of engaging in dishonest behavior,” the researchers explain.

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Telling a 'white lie' may affect one's ability to recognize emotions
By Ana Sandoiu on July 31, 2019 — Fact checked by Carolyn Robertson
If you lie to someone, you may find it more difficult to tell what that other person is thinking or feeling. This is the main takeaway of a new study that examines the ‘unintended consequences of dishonest behavior.’

Even a minor dishonest deed can impair our ability to read others’ emotions, new research finds.
Whether it is suffering or joy, empathy helps us feel what another person feels, and — a lot of the time — our ability to empathize is the reason why we choose to do good deeds and help one another.

But does this mean that empathy and ethical behavior are one and the same? What is the relationship between dishonest acts and empathetic feelings?

New research, led by Ashley E. Hardin, assistant professor of organizational behavior at Olin Business School at Washington University in St. Louis., answers some of these questions by looking at how unethical, or dishonest acts affect “empathic accuracy,” or the ability to read another person’s emotions.

Hardin and colleagues found that dishonest deeds can “harm interpersonal relationships through a particular channel: individuals’ ability to detect others’ emotions.”

The researchers published their findings in the Journal of Experimental Psychology: General.


Dishonesty affects ’empathic accuracy’
Hardin and colleagues carried out eight studies totaling more than 2,500 participants whom they placed in various scenarios.

Hardin and colleagues concluded that there is a “causal relationship” between a person’s dishonest behavior and their ability to empathize with another person’s emotions. Lying and cheating make people less able to read another person’s feelings accurately.

The research also identified an underlying mechanism for this relationship. The team found that people who are more prone to dishonest behavior are less likely to define themselves relationally, or “in terms of close relationships” with their relatives or friends.

Also, the study revealed that “impaired empathic accuracy” has negative consequences that may trickle down into further interactions with people.

Because an initial dishonest act impairs a person’s ability to detect another’s emotions, this may lead to increased dehumanization of the other and an increased number of immoral acts. “It can be a vicious cycle,” explains lead author Hardin.

“Sometimes people will tell a white lie and think it’s not a big deal. But a decision to be dishonest in one moment will have implications for how you interact with people subsequently.”

Ashley E. Hardin

Finally, when people are more socially sensitive, the research found, they are less likely to behave in a dishonest way.

Hardin and team measured social sensitivity by examining the participants’ “vagal reactivity” — a standard physiological measure of compassion and empathy with the suffering of others.

“When individuals are lacking their physiological capacity for social sensitivity, they may be more susceptible to the social distancing effects of engaging in dishonest behavior,” the researchers explain.

Empathy and morality are distinct

The subject of empathy has been on many people’s lips in the past few years.

From neuroscientific studies exploring the consequences of brain damage on empathetic behavior to philosophical essays arguing against the moral value of empathy, the subject has always been crucial to the broader discussion of what it means to be a good person.

But equating empathy with morality is a mistake argue the authors of the new research. Their study, they point out, helps to set a clear boundary between the two concepts.

“Our work adds to this dynamic tension between dishonesty and empathy by showing […] that one’s empathic accuracy can be affected by the specific psychological state produced by one’s dishonest behavior,” write Hardin and colleagues.
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(Quora) Posted by Mark Zaborowski:

AN OPEN LETTER TO DONALD TRUMP


Donald,

I am an old white guy. I am a law-abiding, tax-paying, property-owning American citizen and voter, so we have a couple of things in common. Having observed the political scene for some decades, I feel it incumbent upon me to offer you this bit of advice, done in all caps so you understand that I really, really mean it:

CUT THE CRAP AND CUT A DEAL!

[Image: main-qimg-f4398248ce08b81086d31e3396daff4f]

Let’s look at your history. Considering the head start you had and the points you were spotted by being born into wealth, your career in business hovers between mediocre and underwhelming. Your “reality” TV show lost viewers every year from its inception. Your run at the Presidency was something of a joke to you - but the punchline was on the rest of us. Your only accomplishments were to divide the country, pass tax cuts for yourself and other rich folks, and encourage the worst impulses of your cult-like followers.

The American electorate at large were not as taken in, though, and tossed you out with a resounding thud after one term. Unbelievably, you refused to accept the results of the free and fair 2020 election, even after 60 failed court cases. So you orchestrated a conspiracy to retain power through violence and stole classified documents on your way out, possibly for profit or possibly just for spite.

[Image: main-qimg-bc3726f9cd62e99248c6d22cbf0b1e6e]

Here’s the deal, pal. You’ve been impeached twice. criminally indicted in one case, and found liable for sexual assault and defamation. There are at least three other indictments - both federal and state - in your near future. While tens of millions of Americans would love to see justice done and you behind bars, there’s no denying that the spectacle of an ex-President being perp-walked into prison isn’t the best look for the country.

It’s possible that if you get together with the prosecutors involved, in New York, Washington, D.C., and Georgia (at least), they may be willing to let you avoid prison if you agree to withdraw from the 2024 Presidential contest. This is not because anyone fears you, you understand. We just don’t need the Constitutional crisis and embarrassment of a convicted felon on the ballot in a nation-wide election that he has no chance of winning, anyway.
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Does a person know they have dementia?

Answered by Micheal Fitzjohn:


I know I have dementia. How can I NOT know my brain is dying?

Anyone can forget where they parked their car, how many forget the name of a car? Ever forgot what a refrigerator is? How about a stove?

I can remember names of people I know, but I often forget why I should know them.

People who suffer from dementia need to admit they HAVE dementia. They should learn all they can about this syndrome. It’s not a disease, it’s an umbrella term where many different types of brain death can occur. Alzheimer’s is probably the most well known type of dementia. I’m told I’m probably suffering from semantic dementia. I’d never heard of this type of dementia before. I’m educating myself as quickly as possible.

People suffering from dementia know something is wrong with them; they may not want to accept it.

They SHOULD accept it and fight like hell to keep their clarity.

I sure am.
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Excellent advice from a very wise 15 years old. 

--------------------

(Quora) I am so alone. I am depressed and lonely and have no friends or significant other. What is wrong with me that makes me so lonely in life?

Answered by Tianna Andrews:


I’m gonna be honest, I don’t know your situation so I can’t give a clear-cut answer besides my personal experience.

I used to struggle with being severely depressed and bitter, also didn't have any friends, and still to this day am single. I, however, realized that I wanted to change, I didn’t wanna stay stuck in a depressing hole forever.

At first, I was just going by instinct, I started downloading these workout apps on my phone to feel better about my body, and tried to talk to more people at school, the basics, but then I discovered these motivational type videos on how to become “your highest self” and that's where I hit the jackpot.

I followed what they said, joining clubs in and outside of school, I formulated a workout plan which worked right for me, started speaking more positively about myself, and cut out persons who dragged me down. All these things helped me to learn to love myself. All of a sudden, I wasn’t as lonely anymore, and even if I was alone, I felt peace in my solitude. I learned a few skills, and now, even though I have never been in a relationship at the age of 15, I’m okay with waiting until I find someone long-term.

Of course I didn’t follow things straight to the T, all journeys to happiness and self-love are personal, and no person will have the same path. I even became spiritual (though it isn’t necessary to be happy to have some spiritual awakening)

All in all, go out and explore. Practice self-love and care and just focus on yourself, as you will end up with the right people on your journey to become your best self. Become the person you wish to be, who you want to be, and everything else will follow.

I like to believe that the Universe sends lessons and people when we need them, but we can only unlock that when we take the first step.

Good luck my friend, I wish you the best of luck.
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MIT neuroscientist shares 4 things she never does to eliminate ‘brain fog and forgetfulness’

Published Tue, Jan 31 2023 10:40 AM EST
Updated 3 Hours Ago
Tara Swart, Contributor
@TARASWART

https://www.cnbc.com/2023/01/31/neurosci...n-fog.html

Quote:SUMMARY:
  1. I never let my body get tense for too long.
  2. I never use screens one hour before bedtime.
  3. I never load up on glucose.
  4. I never go a day without meditating.

The alarm goes off. You get dressed, grab your coffee, and head to work. But by lunchtime, you start to feel disorganized. You reread emails because you lack focus and mental clarity.

There's nothing worse than brain fog. In addition to stress and lack of sleep, it can be caused by the immune system creating an inflammatory response in the brain. This can lead to symptoms like poor concentration and memory, or difficulty making decisions.

As a 
neuroscientist, I study the causes of brain fog and forgetfulness. To avoid them, here are four things I never do:

1. I never let my body get tense for too long.

Even if you think you're relaxed, your body may be physically tense (e.g., stiff neck, back or shoulder pain). This can be a result of stress from things like unfinished tasks or looming deadlines.

So when I notice that my body is tense, I immediately do an exercise called "box breathing":


  1. Inhale through your nose as you slowly count to four seconds.
  2. Hold your breath for a count of four seconds.
  3. Exhale through your nose, releasing all the air from your lungs, as you slowly count to four seconds.
  4. Hold your breath for a count of four seconds.
  5. Repeat for at least four rounds.


Box breathing is a simple way to help calm your brain. 
Studies also show that it can reduce levels of cortisol, which is the chemical produced when the body is under stress.

2. . I never use screens one hour before bedtime.

As tempting as it might be to scroll through Instagram or watch TV before bedtime, these activities can be too stimulating for the brain.

Instead, I try to read a book before turning out the lights. If that doesn't help me sleep, I do a "relaxation body scan," squeezing and releasing muscles — starting at my toes and all the way up to my head.


Ideally, we need about eight hours of sleep a night. More than that can lead to a depressed mood, and less than that doesn't give the brain enough time to rest and reset.


3. I never load up on glucose.

If your gut isn't healthy, your brainpower can falter, too. I strengthen my gut-brain axis by maintaining a diet rich in hydrating foods, healthy fats and digestible protein.

Most important of all, I try to avoid sugar. Your brain uses glucose (sugar) as fuel, but refined carbohydrates like high fructose corn syrup found in sodas are not good sources of fuel. Your brain gets a burst of too much glucose, then too little.

This can lead to irritability, tiredness, mental confusion, and impaired judgment.


I also eat foods rich in magnesium — whole grains, leafy greens, dried beans and legumes — to help regulate my mood and sleep cycle. And I make sure to have my last caffeinated drink of the day before 10:00 a.m.

.
4. I never go a day without meditating.
I meditate for at least 12 minutes a day.

Doing this at nighttime can help mitigate brain fog the next day:

  1. Remove all distractions from your room.
  2. Sit or lie down in a comfortable position.
  3. Take deep breaths.
  4. Quietly observe your thoughts.
  5. Whatever thoughts come, simply acknowledge them return your focus to your breathing.


If you don't like to meditate, you can do a mindful activity such as cooking or taking a quiet walk.

I also recommend coming up with a mantra that you can say in the morning, like: "Brain fog is a state of mind. I will go to bed early tonight and be fine tomorrow."
By articulating your goals to yourself out loud, you can start to be more intentional about changing your habits. And through that repetition, your brain and body will start to follow suit.
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(Quora) What should you do if you are burnt out?

Answered by Ben A. Wise:


I saw a therapist today.

I've been struggling with burnout.

And right now, it's winning:
- I think about work when I don't want to
- I wake up in the night feeling anxious
- I feel sad and stressed

It was tough asking my general practitioner for help.
Telling the therapist my symptoms.

Sharing this on Quora where:
- Team members
- Vendors
- Clients

Might

all see it, triggering my fear of being judged.

And positioning me not as an "authority figure"

But another vulnerable and fallible human.

Who doesn't have all the answers.

But having worked with founders & execs to develop personal brands that helps grow their businesses on LinkedIn—

I also know that everyone struggles with this at one point or another.

And I want to normalize the conversation about mental health.

So here's what the therapist told me:

She's seen more and more burnout in her patients post-Covid. Working remotely makes it more difficult to get space from work. If that's you, there's nothing wrong with you.

Have compassion for yourself.

Her recommendations:

- Get dressed for work in the morning and then go for a short walk around the block before sitting down in front of the computer. This "commute" helps differentiate your personal and work life.

- Take another walk after you're done with work. Listen to music, a podcast, or something else that you enjoy. This tells your brain that you're back in your personal life.

- Adhere to strict working hours. If it's 9-5 don't check your email at 8 and don't schedule calls at 6. Protect your personal life because you deserve the wellbeing that it will lead to.

- Have lunch outside if you can. The change of setting will help take your mind off work. The sun is healing.

- Thinking about work outside of working hours is not helpful. Your brain needs a rest and space from work makes you a better problem-solver. If it's important, write it down in a notebook and leave it for when you're actually working. If it's not, don't engage with the thought.

I'll be following her advice and documenting my findings.

P.S.

If you're also struggling—

I'm right here with you.

(Photo)
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Khoan lỗ chậu sứ, #334, p 23

http://vietbestforum.com/thread-22432-page-23.html

Post # 334, p 23.

Cảm ơn anh Phai.

Cheer
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