2021-04-02, 07:40 PM
Whats-the-dumbest-case-you've-ever-had-on-jury-duty
My first, and only jury duty so far. Southwark Crown Court, London, a few years ago.
The defendant sits in the dock. White guy, in his 50's or 60's, short grey-ish hair, in a suit and tie.
There are only two people in the public gallery, presumably his wife and daughter. They are dressed way over the top — fake eyelashes, lots of makeup, some frilly dresses and hats in improbable colours. It all looked very East End.
All of us from the jury box were looking at them while the barristers were getting ready. We were all thinking the same thing. Oh my god. Is he a mobster? Is he some mafia kingpin? How exciting.
Then, finally, the proceedings start. The trial is for fraud. OK. That’s still interesting. What could it be? A Ponzi scheme? Securities fraud?
Then, the prosecuting barrister lays out the case. Contravention of the Hackney Carriages Act. Wait a second. Not sure what that is, but it doesn’t sound all that glamorous.
The explanation continues. The guy was driving a taxi without a valid taxi drivers licence. Oh. We are a bit deflated. The barrister continues. He is actually a licensed cabbie, but his licence had expired. He continued to drive his taxi, and got stopped by the police. He was being prosecuted for fraud because of some zero tolerance policy. Oh dear.
Never mind. Here we all are. Every single one of us took time off work to sit on this jury, and we are going to take this seriously. We shall render a fair and impartial verdict, no matter what.
Trial day two. It turns out our cabbie had actually sent in the paperwork to renew his licence. He even paid the fee. His paperwork didn't get processed due to a clerical error. The paperwork turned up in the search.
The judge turned to the jury. He pointed to the juror sitting closest to him.
“You, sir. I am appointing you foreman of this jury. Please stand up.”
The newly minted foreman stood up.
“Repeat after me. Not guilty.”
“Not guilty.”
“Thank you. The verdict of not guilty is entered. The court would like to apologize to the defendant for the prosecution, and to the jurors for wasting their time.”
My first, and only jury duty so far. Southwark Crown Court, London, a few years ago.
The defendant sits in the dock. White guy, in his 50's or 60's, short grey-ish hair, in a suit and tie.
There are only two people in the public gallery, presumably his wife and daughter. They are dressed way over the top — fake eyelashes, lots of makeup, some frilly dresses and hats in improbable colours. It all looked very East End.
All of us from the jury box were looking at them while the barristers were getting ready. We were all thinking the same thing. Oh my god. Is he a mobster? Is he some mafia kingpin? How exciting.
Then, finally, the proceedings start. The trial is for fraud. OK. That’s still interesting. What could it be? A Ponzi scheme? Securities fraud?
Then, the prosecuting barrister lays out the case. Contravention of the Hackney Carriages Act. Wait a second. Not sure what that is, but it doesn’t sound all that glamorous.
The explanation continues. The guy was driving a taxi without a valid taxi drivers licence. Oh. We are a bit deflated. The barrister continues. He is actually a licensed cabbie, but his licence had expired. He continued to drive his taxi, and got stopped by the police. He was being prosecuted for fraud because of some zero tolerance policy. Oh dear.
Never mind. Here we all are. Every single one of us took time off work to sit on this jury, and we are going to take this seriously. We shall render a fair and impartial verdict, no matter what.
Trial day two. It turns out our cabbie had actually sent in the paperwork to renew his licence. He even paid the fee. His paperwork didn't get processed due to a clerical error. The paperwork turned up in the search.
The judge turned to the jury. He pointed to the juror sitting closest to him.
“You, sir. I am appointing you foreman of this jury. Please stand up.”
The newly minted foreman stood up.
“Repeat after me. Not guilty.”
“Not guilty.”
“Thank you. The verdict of not guilty is entered. The court would like to apologize to the defendant for the prosecution, and to the jurors for wasting their time.”