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RE: Linh Tinh - LeThanhPhong - 2020-10-19
Homegrown Hate: The War Among Us
Wow .
RE: Linh Tinh - LeThanhPhong - 2020-10-19
https://doctormikehansen.com/
12 Coronavirus Autopsy Cases Reveal the TRUTH How COVID Patients Dying
The TRUTH of How Coronavirus Spreads and Coronavirus Prevention | Airborne Transmission
How Coronavirus Kills Some People But Not Others - I'm a Lung Doctor (MEDICAL TRUTH) | COVID
How To Travel and NOT Get Coronavirus - 7 Tips for Flying and Traveling during COVID 19 Pandemic ✈🚗
RE: Linh Tinh - LeThanhPhong - 2020-10-20
HOW TO MAKE GLASSES CHAIN IN UNDER 2 MINUTES! [NO RUBBER ENDS]
RE: Linh Tinh - LeThanhPhong - 2020-10-21
Donald Trump's Secret Chinese Bank Account | Pod Save America
RE: Linh Tinh - LeThanhPhong - 2020-10-21
2020 Electoral Map | 2 Weeks Until the Election
RE: Linh Tinh - LeThanhPhong - 2020-10-22
NBC Nightly News Broadcast (Full) - October 21st, 2020 | NBC Nightly News
607,196 views•Oct 21, 2020
Former President Obama holds campaign event for Joe Biden, CDC issues new guidance on close contact and spread of Covid-19, and educators speak out about mental health toll of teaching through pandemic.
Watch “NBC Nightly News With Lester Holt” at 6:30 p.m. ET / 5:30 p.m. CT (or check your local listings).
00:00 Intro
00:23 FBI: Iran And Russia Behind Threatening Emails Sent To U.S. Voters
02:13 Mitt Romney Says He Did Not Vote For Trump
02:38 Tax Records Show Trump Linked To Bank Account In China
03:07 Obama Makes The Case For Biden First Campaign Rally
05:28 CDC Changes Guidance On 'Close Contact' Spread
06:09 Superspreader Events Linked To Salvation Army, Churches
06:35 Tidal Wave Of New Covid Infections Sweeps Across U.S.
07:13 Staggering Surge Of Covid Cases Hitting Midwest
09:06 Oxycontin Makers To Plead Guilty In $8 Billion Settlement
10:47 Pope Francis Endorses Same-Sex Civil Unions
12:14 Parents Of 545 Separated Migrant Children Can't Be Found
12:42 Record Early Voting In Georgia After Primary Chaos
14:56 Record-Breaking Early Snow Slams Central U.S.
15:25 Teachers Sound The Alarm Over Pandemic Stress
18:02 Sound Media Scams Surge During Covid Pandemic
RE: Linh Tinh - LeThanhPhong - 2020-10-22
How Donald Trump Can Win The 2020 Election | Pod Save America
RE: Linh Tinh - LeThanhPhong - 2020-10-25
Trump bịp bợm, không có thực chất.
Hôm qua, nghe cựu Tổng Thống Obama nói chuyện ở Florida với cử tri hô hào bầu cho Biden đã quá chừng.
Obama nói gì là CNN đăng tải lại, không xạo à nha. Ha ha ha.
Trump là hàng giả lòe mắt thiên hạ, không có thực chất.
Obama in Florida: Trump's tough guy schtick is a fraud - CNNPolitics
https://www.cnn.com/2020/10/24/politics/barack-obama-florida-donald-trump/index.html
By Gregory Krieg, CNN
Updated 9:59 PM EDT, Sat October 24, 2020
![[Image: 201024163412-barack-obama-campaigns-bide...er-169.jpg]](https://cdn-cnn-com.cdn.ampproject.org/i/s/cdn.cnn.com/cnnnext/dam/assets/201024163412-barack-obama-campaigns-biden-miami-trump-not-tough-saenz-nr-vpx-00004011-super-169.jpg)
(CNN)Former President Barack Obama on Saturday laced into President Donald Trump, describing his successor as a thin-skinned bully whose true weakness was revealed when he walked off the set of a high profile interview this week after being faced with a few probing questions.
"He likes to act tough and talk tough. He thinks scowling and being mean is tough," Obama said at a drive-in rally in South Florida. "But when '60 Minutes' and Lesley Stahl are too tough for you, you ain't all that tough."
Obama turned the screws on Trump for a second time in four days after making his debut on the campaign trail earlier this week at a pair of events in Philadelphia.
The decision to appear in Florida, where the polls indicate the race will be decided by the finest of margins, with less than 10 days until Election Day underscored the state's potentially decisive role in the election. It also suggested the Biden campaign believes that victory there would put a pin in the expected election night drama by cutting off Trump's increasingly narrow path to reelection.
View Trump and Biden head-to-head polling
[/url]
"If you bring Florida home, this thing's over," Obama told volunteers at an unannounced stop in Miami Springs earlier in the day. "That way I don't have to stay up too late. I don't have to wait for the results through the next day. I want to go to sleep knowing that we're going to have a president fighting on our behalf."
Trump was in Ohio on Saturday, but he had Obama on his mind. During remarks in Circleville, he brought up the former president's return to the stump.
"I guess it started yesterday or the day before, right? They had 42 people show up, 42," Trump said. "We have thousands, tens of thousands and outside it's five times what this is."
[url=https://www.cnn.com/2020/10/24/health/us-coronavirus-saturday/index.html]
![[Image: 201024004113-covid-testing-mass-1022-res...us-169.jpg]](https://cdn-cnn-com.cdn.ampproject.org/i/s/cdn.cnn.com/cnnnext/dam/assets/201024004113-covid-testing-mass-1022-restrictions-medium-plus-169.jpg)
Daily Covid-19 cases will hit six digits soon, expert warns, as US reports a one-day high of more than 83,000 infections
Obama, like Biden, is not holding typical campaign rallies in deference to the coronavirus pandemic, which has claimed the lives of more than 224,000 Americans and, on Friday, recorded the highest single day of new cases since the pandemic began earlier this year. Trump has ignored public health officials warning and pleas in order to host larger events, which are not socially distanced and feature only occasional mask-wearing.
In his remarks in Florida, Obama wove a detailed prosecution of Trump's record in office with mockery of the President's rough-and-ready persona, joking that anyone who gets rattled by a "60 Minutes" correspondent is "never going to stand up to a dictator."
The former president, who has remained an obsession of Trump's throughout his time in office, described the President's behavior as "not normal" and compared him unfavorably to "Florida Man," an internet meme that plays on news headlines about wild, unruly and often illegal behavior.
"You wouldn't tolerate it from a coworker. You wouldn't tolerate it from a high school principal. You wouldn't tolerate it from a coach. You wouldn't tolerate it from a family member," Obama said, reciting a litany of Trump's most outlandish actions. "'Florida man' wouldn't even do this stuff. Why are we accepting it from the President of the United States?"
But Obama returned throughout his speech to the spiraling pandemic and Trump's response -- and his failure to chart out a coherent one that addresses the scale of the crisis.
"Eight months into this pandemic, new cases are breaking records. Donald Trump isn't going to suddenly protect all of us. He can't even take the basic steps to protect himself," Obama said, returning to an argument he first made on Wednesday in reference to Trumps' own bout with the illness. It is believed the President caught the virus during a White House ceremony, which Obama -- like many others -- called a "superspreader event," for Supreme Court nominee Amy Coney Barrett earlier this month.
![[Image: 201002133931-01-coney-barrett-announceme...us-169.jpg]](https://cdn-cnn-com.cdn.ampproject.org/i/s/cdn.cnn.com/cnnnext/dam/assets/201002133931-01-coney-barrett-announcement-crowd-0926-medium-plus-169.jpg)
Inside one celebration that helped spread the virus across the US government
Obama also tied the surging toll of the pandemic to Trump's efforts to dismantle his own signature achievement, the Affordable Care Act. If the 2010 health care law is struck down in the Supreme Court, where its fate could be decided after the election, popular provisions like protections for patients with pre-existing conditions would fall with it.
Trump has repeatedly claimed that he has a replacement ready to go, but has not yet -- after years of promising -- presented one to the public.
"The reason they don't show you their plan to actually provide people protections when it comes to preexisting conditions is because they don't have one, and they never have," Obama said. "That's just a fact. And instead of just 'fessing up that they don't want people to have health insurance, they've attacked the Affordable Care Act at every turn."
In his spat with "60 Minutes," Trump released unedited footage from the interview, a portion of which showed Stahl pressing him on the whereabouts of his long-promised health care plan. But Trump, unable to point to any specific legislation or blueprint, only reasserted his vague promises.
![[Image: 201017001035-donald-trump-october-15-202...us-169.jpg]](https://cdn-cnn-com.cdn.ampproject.org/i/s/cdn.cnn.com/cnnnext/dam/assets/201017001035-donald-trump-october-15-2020-02-medium-plus-169.jpg)
Why is Donald Trump so obsessed with this '60 Minutes' interview?
He was clear, though, on his desire for the Supreme Court to terminate the law.
"I hope that they end it," Trump said. "It will be so good if they end it."
"Why would you want to take people's health insurance just at the very moment when people need health insurance the most?," Obama said on Saturday, in reference to Trump's comment. "What's the rationale in that? And think about what that would do to families right here (in Miami-Dade)."
Obama concluded with another call for Americans to turnout in record numbers ahead of and on Election Day. He hailed the grassroots movements that fought back against the Trump administration's family separation policy at the US-Mexico border and took to the streets this summer to demonstrate against racism and police brutality.
But, he said, failing to vote would amount to an abandonment of the principles those protesters lined up to protect.
"We've got to channel their activism into action. We can't just talk. We can't just imagine a better future. We've got to go out there and fight for it. We've got out to out-hustle the other side," Obama said. "We've got to vote like never before, and we've got to leave no doubt."
RE: Linh Tinh - LeThanhPhong - 2020-10-25
Obama: This simple '60 Minutes' question was 'too tough' for Trump
Muốn thì chiều:
Former President Barack Obama took aim at President Donald Trump and his response to the coronavirus pandemic during a campaign event for Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden in Miami. CNN's Arlette Saenz reports. #CNN #News
Vote, everyone. Còn 10 ngày nữa thôi.
RE: Linh Tinh - LeThanhPhong - 2020-10-26
A Narcissist's Prayer:
That didn't happen.
And if it did, it wasn't that bad.
And if it was, that's not a big deal.
And if it is, that's not my fault.
And if it was, I didn't mean it.
And if I did...
You deserved it.
-----------------------------------
If Trump loses: Fake voting. It's all fabricated. We need to look into this. Chinas fault. Medias fault. They treated me ver unfairly, very unfairly.
If Trump wins: it was the greatest election ever. I got the most votes of all time. People from other planets voted for me. Let me tell you something, it was magnificent.
-----------------------------------
Imagine a kid telling a teacher:
" If you didn't test me I wouldn't have bad grades, I have bad grades because you test me too much otherwise I'm doing great!"
--------------------------------------
“I have a plan.”
“We will come up with a plan.”
”We have large sections of a plan.”
I remember doing this kinda thing when I didn’t do my homework at high school.
--------------------------------------
"The presidency doesn't change who you are, it reveals who you are"
--------------------------------------
Let's vote Trump out of the White House!
Unity Over Division
Biden-Harris 2020
RE: Linh Tinh - LeThanhPhong - 2020-10-26
Master Shi Heng Yi – 5 hindrances to self-mastery | Shi Heng YI | TEDxVitosha
Meet Shaolin Master Shi Heng Yi in his serene talk about self-discovery. Learn why rainfall is an essential part of each flowering. And every small step – part of the journey to the highest peek. The hindrances along the way to self-discovery and personal growth are easy to overcome. Learn how from his talk. For more than 30 years, Master Shi Heng Yi has been studying and practicing the interaction between mind and body. His strength is the ability to smoothly combine this knowledge with physical exercises and to practice Martial art –Kung Fu and Qi Gong. He has an academic background but he prefers to live at the Shaolin Temple Europe, Monastery located in Otterberg, Germany. Since 2010 he has been taking care of the settlement and he personifies the sustainable development and spreading the Shaolin culture and philosophy. As a contemporary monk, Master Yi holds a smartphone in the folds of his clothes as he sees no contradiction between living together with ancient knowledge and high technology. “The universal law of being successful and happy at the same time means finding the balance”, says master Yi. And as for flying – yes, he really can do it! He only needs a stick and a little space. We expect him to fly-in and share about the Shaolin way at TEDxVitosha 2020.
RE: Linh Tinh - LeThanhPhong - 2020-10-26
"Before you heal someone, ask him if he's willing to give up the things that make him sick." Hippocrates
Narcissistic Personality Disorder
https://www.helpguide.org/articles/mental-disorders/narcissistic-personality-disorder.htm
Know someone who expects constant admiration, who thinks they’re better than everyone else, but flies off the handle at the slightest criticism? These tips can help you recognize and cope with a narcissist.
What is narcissistic personality disorder (NPD)?
The word narcissism gets tossed around a lot in our selfie-obsessed, celebrity-driven culture, often to describe someone who seems excessively vain or full of themselves. But in psychological terms, narcissism doesn’t mean self-love—at least not of a genuine sort. It’s more accurate to say that people with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) are in love with an idealized, grandiose image of themselves. And they’re in love with this inflated self-image precisely because it allows them to avoid deep feelings of insecurity. But propping up their delusions of grandeur takes a lot of work—and that’s where the dysfunctional attitudes and behaviors come in.
Narcissistic personality disorder involves a pattern of self-centered, arrogant thinking and behavior, a lack of empathy and consideration for other people, and an excessive need for admiration. Others often describe people with NPD as cocky, manipulative, selfish, patronizing, and demanding. This way of thinking and behaving surfaces in every area of the narcissist’s life: from work and friendships to family and love relationships.
People with narcissistic personality disorder are extremely resistant to changing their behavior, even when it’s causing them problems. Their tendency is to turn the blame on to others. What’s more, they are extremely sensitive and react badly to even the slightest criticisms, disagreements, or perceived slights, which they view as personal attacks. For the people in the narcissist’s life, it’s often easier just to go along with their demands to avoid the coldness and rages. However, by understanding more about narcissistic personality disorder, you can spot the narcissists in your life, protect yourself from their power plays, and establish healthier boundaries.
Signs and symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder
Grandiose sense of self-importance
Grandiosity is the defining characteristic of narcissism. More than just arrogance or vanity, grandiosity is an unrealistic sense of superiority. Narcissists believe they are unique or “special” and can only be understood by other special people. What’s more, they are too good for anything average or ordinary. They only want to associate and be associated with other high-status people, places, and things.
Narcissists also believe that they’re better than everyone else and expect recognition as such—even when they’ve done nothing to earn it. They will often exaggerate or outright lie about their achievements and talents. And when they talk about work or relationships, all you’ll hear is how much they contribute, how great they are, and how lucky the people in their lives are to have them. They are the undisputed star and everyone else is at best a bit player.
Lives in a fantasy world that supports their delusions of grandeur
Since reality doesn’t support their grandiose view of themselves, narcissists live in a fantasy world propped up by distortion, self-deception, and magical thinking. They spin self-glorifying fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, attractiveness, and ideal love that make them feel special and in control. These fantasies protect them from feelings of inner emptiness and shame, so facts and opinions that contradict them are ignored or rationalized away. Anything that threatens to burst the fantasy bubble is met with extreme defensiveness and even rage, so those around the narcissist learn to tread carefully around their denial of reality.
Needs constant praise and admiration
A narcissist’s sense of superiority is like a balloon that gradually loses air without a steady stream of applause and recognition to keep it inflated. The occasional compliment is not enough. Narcissists need constant food for their ego, so they surround themselves with people who are willing to cater to their obsessive craving for affirmation. These relationships are very one-sided. It’s all about what the admirer can do for the narcissist, never the other way around. And if there is ever an interruption or diminishment in the admirer’s attention and praise, the narcissist treats it as a betrayal.
Sense of entitlement
Because they consider themselves special, narcissists expect favorable treatment as their due. They truly believe that whatever they want, they should get. They also expect the people around them to automatically comply with their every wish and whim. That is their only value. If you don’t anticipate and meet their every need, then you’re useless. And if you have the nerve to defy their will or “selfishly” ask for something in return, prepare yourself for aggression, outrage, or the cold shoulder.
Exploits others without guilt or shame
Narcissists never develop the ability to identify with the feelings of others—to put themselves in other people’s shoes. In other words, they lack empathy. In many ways, they view the people in their lives as objects—there to serve their needs. As a consequence, they don’t think twice about taking advantage of others to achieve their own ends. Sometimes this interpersonal exploitation is malicious, but often it is simply oblivious. Narcissists simply don’t think about how their behavior affects others. And if you point it out, they still won’t truly get it. The only thing they understand is their own needs.
Frequently demeans, intimidates, bullies, or belittles others
Narcissists feel threatened whenever they encounter someone who appears to have something they lack—especially those who are confident and popular. They’re also threatened by people who don’t kowtow to them or who challenge them in any way. Their defense mechanism is contempt. The only way to neutralize the threat and prop up their own sagging ego is to put those people down. They may do it in a patronizing or dismissive way as if to demonstrate how little the other person means to them. Or they may go on the attack with insults, name-calling, bullying, and threats to force the other person back into line.
Don’t fall for the fantasy
Narcissists can be very magnetic and charming. They are very good at creating a fantastical, flattering self-image that draw us in. We’re attracted to their apparent confidence and lofty dreams—and the shakier our own self-esteem, the more seductive the allure. It’s easy to get caught up in their web, thinking that they will fulfill our longing to feel more important, more alive. But it’s just a fantasy, and a costly one at that.
Your needs won’t be fulfilled (or even recognized). It’s important to remember that narcissists aren’t looking for partners; they’re looking for obedient admirers. Your sole value to the narcissist is as someone who can tell them how great they are to prop up their insatiable ego. Your desires and feelings don’t count.
Look at the way the narcissist treats others. If the narcissist lies, manipulates, hurts, and disrespects others, he or she will eventually treat you the same way. Don’t fall for the fantasy that you’re different and will be spared.
Take off the rose-colored glasses. It’s important to see the narcissist in your life for who they really are, not who you want them to be. Stop making excuses for bad behavior or minimizing the hurt it’s causing you. Denial will not make it go away. The reality is that narcissists are very resistant to change, so the true question you must ask yourself is whether you can live like this indefinitely.
Focus on your own dreams. Instead of losing yourself in the narcissist’s delusions, focus on the things you want for yourself. What do you want to change in your life? What gifts would you like to develop? What fantasies do you need to give up in order to create a more fulfilling reality?
Set healthy boundaries
Healthy relationships are based on mutual respect and caring. But narcissists aren’t capable of true reciprocity in their relationships. It isn’t just that they’re not willing; they truly aren’t able. They don’t see you. They don’t hear you. They don’t recognize you as someone who exists outside of their own needs. Because of this, narcissists regularly violate the boundaries of others. What’s more, they do so with an absolute sense of entitlement.
Narcissists think nothing of going through or borrowing your possessions without asking, snooping through your mail and personal correspondence, eavesdropping on conversations, barging in without an invitation, stealing your ideas, and giving you unwanted opinions and advice. They may even tell you what to think and feel. It’s important to recognize these violations for what they are, so you can begin to create healthier boundaries where your needs are respected.
Make a plan. If you have a long-standing pattern of letting others violate your boundaries, it’s not easy to take back control. Set yourself up for success by carefully considering your goals and the potential obstacles. What are the most important changes you hope to achieve? Is there anything you’ve tried in the past with the narcissist that worked? Anything that hasn’t? What is the balance of power between you and how will that impact your plan? How will you enforce your new boundaries? Answering these questions will help you evaluate your options and develop a realistic plan.
Consider a gentle approach. If preserving your relationship with the narcissist is important to you, you will have to tread softly. By pointing out their hurtful or dysfunctional behavior, you are damaging their self-image of perfection. Try to deliver your message calmly, respectfully, and as gently as possible. Focus on how their behavior makes you feel, rather than on their motivations and intentions. If they respond with anger and defensiveness, try to remain calm. Walk away if need be and revisit the conversation later.
Don’t set a boundary unless you’re willing to keep it. You can count on the narcissist to rebel against new boundaries and test your limits, so be prepared. Follow up with any consequences specified. If you back down, you’re sending the message that you don’t need to be taken seriously.
Be prepared for other changes in the relationship. The narcissist will feel threatened and upset by your attempts to take control of your life. They are used to calling the shots. To compensate, they may step up their demands in other aspects of the relationship, distance themselves to punish you, or attempt to manipulate or charm you into giving up the new boundaries. It’s up to you to stand firm.
Don’t take things personally
To protect themselves from feelings of inferiority and shame, narcissists must always deny their shortcomings, cruelties, and mistakes. Often, they will do so by projecting their own faults on to others. It’s very upsetting to get blamed for something that’s not your fault or be characterized with negative traits you don’t possess. But as difficult as it may be, try not to take it personally. It really isn’t about you.
Don’t buy into the narcissist’s version of who you are. Narcissists don’t live in reality, and that includes their views of other people. Don’t let their shame and blame game undermine your self-esteem. Refuse to accept undeserved responsibility, blame, or criticism. That negativity is the narcissist’s to keep.
Don’t argue with a narcissist. When attacked, the natural instinct is to defend yourself and prove the narcissist wrong. But no matter how rational you are or how sound your argument, they are unlikely to hear you. And arguing the point may escalate the situation in a very unpleasant way. Don’t waste your breath. Simply tell the narcissist you disagree with their assessment, then move on.
Know yourself. The best defense against the insults and projections of the narcissist is a strong sense of self. When you know your own strengths and weaknesses, it’s easier to reject any unfair criticisms leveled against you.
Let go of the need for approval. It’s important to detach from the narcissist’s opinion and any desire to please or appease them at the expense of yourself. You need to be okay with knowing the truth about yourself, even if the narcissist sees the situation differently.
Look for support and purpose elsewhere
If you’re going to stay in a relationship with a narcissist, be honest with yourself about what you can—and can’t—expect. A narcissist isn’t going to change into someone who truly values you, so you’ll need to look elsewhere for emotional support and personal fulfillment.
Learn what healthy relationships look and feel like. If you come from a narcissistic family, you may not have a very good sense of what a healthy give-and-take relationship is. The narcissistic pattern of dysfunction may feel comfortable to you. Just remind yourself that as familiar as it feels, it also makes you feel bad. In a reciprocal relationship, you will feel respected, listened to, and free to be yourself.
Spend time with people who give you an honest reflection of who you are. In order to maintain perspective and avoid buying into the narcissist’s distortions, it’s important to spend time with people who know you as you really are and validate your thoughts and feelings.
Make new friendships, if necessary, outside the narcissist’s orbit. Some narcissists isolate the people in their lives in order to better control them. If this is your situation, you’ll need to invest time into rebuilding lapsed friendships or cultivating new relationships.
Look for meaning and purpose in work, volunteering, and hobbies. Instead of looking to the narcissist to make you feel good about yourself, pursue meaningful activities that make use of your talents and allow you to contribute.
How to leave a narcissist
Ending an abusive relationship is never easy. Ending one with a narcissist can be especially difficult as they can be so charming and charismatic—at least at the start of the relationship or if you threaten to leave. It’s easy to become disoriented by the narcissist’s manipulative behavior, caught up in the need to seek their approval, or even to feel “gaslighted” and doubt your own judgement. If you’re codependent, your desire to be loyal may trump even your need to preserve your safety and sense of self. But it’s important to remember that no one deserves to be bullied, threatened, or verbally and emotionally abused in a relationship. There are ways to escape the narcissist—and the guilt and self-blame—and begin the process of healing.
Educate yourself about narcissistic personality disorder. The more you understand, the better you’ll be able to recognize the techniques a narcissist may use to keep you in the relationship. When you threaten to leave, a narcissist will often resurrect the flattery and adoration (“love bombing”) that caused you to be interested in them in the first place. Or they’ll make grand promises about changing their behavior that they have no intention of keeping.
Write down the reasons why you’re leaving. Being clear on why you need to end the relationship can help prevent you from being sucked back in. Keep your list somewhere handy, such as on your phone, and refer to it when you’re starting to have self-doubts or the narcissist is laying on the charm or making outlandish promises.
Seek support. During your time together, the narcissist may have damaged your relationships with friends and family or limited your social life. But whatever your circumstances, you’re not alone. Even if you can’t reach out to old friends, you can find help from support groups or domestic violence helplines and shelters.
Don’t make empty threats. It’s a better tactic to accept that the narcissist won’t change and when you’re ready, simply leave. Making threats or pronouncements will only forewarn the narcissist and enable them to make it more difficult for you to get away.
Seek immediate help if you’re physically threatened or abused. Call 911 in the U.S. or your country’s local emergency service.
For more tips on leaving, read How to Get Out of an Abusive Relationship.
After you’ve left
Leaving a narcissist can be a huge blow to their sense of entitlement and self-importance. Their huge ego still needs to be fed, so they’ll often continue trying to exert control over you. If charm and “love bombing” doesn’t work, they may resort to threats, denigrating you to mutual friends and acquaintances, or stalking you, on social media or in person.
Cut off all contact with the narcissist. The more contact you have with them, the more hope you’ll give them that they can reel you back in. It’s safer to block their calls, texts, and emails, and disconnect from them on social media. If you have children together, have others with you for any scheduled custody handovers.
Allow yourself to grieve. Breakups can be extremely painful, whatever the circumstances. Even ending a toxic relationship can leave you feeling sad, angry, confused, and grieving the loss of shared dreams and commitments. Healing can take time, so go easy on yourself and turn to family and friends for support.
Don’t expect the narcissist to share your grief. Once the message sinks in that you will no longer be feeding their ego, the narcissist will likely soon move on to exploit someone else. They won’t feel loss or guilt, just that never-ending need for praise and admiration. This is no reflection on you, but rather an illustration of how very one-sided their relationships always are.
If you need help for narcissistic personality disorder
Due to the very nature of the disorder, most people with NPD are reluctant to admit they have a problem—and even more reluctant to seek help. Even when they do, narcissistic personality disorder can be very challenging to treat. But that doesn’t mean there’s no hope or that changes aren’t possible. Mood stabilizers, antidepressants, and antipsychotic drugs are sometimes prescribed in severe cases or if your NPD co-occurs with another disorder. However, in most cases psychotherapy is the primary form of treatment.
Working with a skilled therapist, you can learn to accept responsibility for your actions, develop a better sense of proportion, and build healthier relationships. You can also work on developing your emotional intelligence (EQ). EQ is the ability to understand, use, and manage your emotions in positive ways to empathize with others, communicate effectively, and builder strong relationships. Importantly, the skills that make up emotional intelligence can be learned at any time.
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How a Child Can Become a Narcissist
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/understanding-narcissism/201705/how-child-can-become-narcissist
What type of parenting leads children to grow up with a NPD?
Posted May 28, 2017
I am often asked “What type of parenting leads children to grow up with a Narcissistic Personality Disorder?” Or “Are the children of Narcissistic parents at risk of becoming Narcissists themselves?” Today’s post may shed some light on this issue.
How Does Someone “Get” a Narcissistic Personality Disorder?
Narcissistic Personality Disorders are a byproduct of certain childhood family environments. All children want their parents’ approval and attention. Children adapt to their homes, and often the most productive and reasonable adaptation to some home situations is to become a Narcissist.
Below are some common scenarios that can contribute to children becoming Narcissistic.
Scenario 1—Narcissistic Parental Values
In this situation the child is raised in a family that is very competitive and only rewards high achievement. One or both of the parents are Exhibitionist Narcissists. The family motto is: If you can’t be the best, why bother?
Love is conditional: When you come in first in the race, win the science fair, or star in the school show, you are showered with praise and attention. When you do not, you are a disappointment. Everyone in the family is supposed to be special and prove it over and over again. No matter how much you achieve, the pressure is never off. As one woman said: “When I came home with a report card with all A’s, my father asked me if anyone got an A+.”
Children in these families do not feel stably loved. It is hard for them to enjoy anything for its own sake, if it does not confer status. Instead of being supported by their parents to explore what they like and want to do more of, they only receive support for high achievement. Their parents are not interested in their children’s “real selves,” they are mainly interested in how their children can make the family look good. They want to be able to brag to their neighbors: “Look at what my kid did!”
The children who grow up in homes like this only feel secure and worthwhile when they are successful and recognized as the “best.” The conditional love of their childhood and the over evaluation of high status and success in their home sets in motion a lifelong pattern of chasing success and confusing it with happiness.
Example: John and his Life on Paper
John, a brilliant and successful man with a Narcissistic Personality Disorder, told me that he was coming to therapy because he knew that had lost his way. Nothing he did seemed to have any real meaning for him. He said, “I have a 'resume' life. Everything about me looks good on paper. Even my hobbies are cool. But somewhere along the way I lost touch with who I really am. I no longer feel much genuine pleasure in my accomplishments. I started out enjoying what I do well, but now I do it only because it impresses other people. Inside I feel empty.”
Scenario 2: The Devaluing Narcissistic Parent
In this scenario there is a very domineering and devaluing parent who is always putting down the child. The parent is generally irritable, easily angered, and has unrealistically high expectations.
If there are two or more children, the parent will praise one and devalue the others. The “good one” can quickly become the “bad one” and suddenly a different sibling is elevated. Nobody in the family feels secure and everyone spends their time trying to pacify the explosive Narcissistic parent.
The other parent is often treated exactly like the children and belittled as well. When he or she disagrees with the Narcissistic parent, they too are devalued.
Children who grow up in these households feel angry, humiliated, and inadequate. They are likely to react to their childhood situation in a few different ways.
The Defeated Child: Some of these children simply give up and accept defeat. In their teenage years, after decades of being told that they are worthless, they may spiral down into a self-hating shame-based depression. Then to escape their inner shame, they may try to lose themselves in impulsive, addictive behaviors. Some become alcoholics and drug addicts, others spend their days on the internet. They never achieve their potential because they have been convinced that they have none.
The Rebellious Child: These children overtly reject their parents’ message that they are “losers.” Instead, they spend their life try to prove to themselves, the world, and the devaluing parent that they are special and their parents were wrong. They pursue achievement in every way that they can. Proving they are special becomes a lifelong mission, while underneath there is always a harsh inner voice criticizing their every mistake—no matter how minor.
The Angry Child: These children grow up furious at the devaluing parent. Anyone who reminds them of their parent in any way becomes the target of their anger. They sometimes become Toxic or Malignant Narcissists themselves. It is not enough for them to achieve, they must destroy as well.
Example: “Pretty Woman”
In this movie, Richard Gere portrays a wealthy businessman who buys and breaks up companies. He enjoys destroying the life’s work of the former owners of these companies because all of them are symbolic substitutes for his hated father. The movie turns into a Cinderella story after he hires a prostitute (Julia Roberts) with whom he eventually falls in love. Even his choice of a love object is typically Narcissistic. I have met many wealthy Narcissistic men who can only show love to women that they “save” who are safely below them in status.
Scenario 3: ”The Golden Child”
These parents are usually closet Narcissists who are uncomfortable in the spotlight. Instead, they brag about their extremely talented child. Often the child is very talented and deserves praise, but these parents sometimes take it to ridiculous lengths. This type of excessive idealization of a child as flawless and special can lead to the child having a Narcissistic adaptation in later life.
- The Effects of Conditional vs. Unconditional Love
Children who are idealized by a parent can begin to believe that they are only lovable when they are perfect and worthy of idealization.
- The Perception of Flaws and Shame
- Stunted Development of the Real Self
The Result: Too much parental idealization may lead to an unbalanced view of the self. When this happens, the child then perceives any flaws as unacceptable and strives to be seen as perfect. It is a short hop, skip, and a jump from this to full blown Narcissism
Occasionally, these children resist their role as “The Golden Child,” do not become Narcissistic, and are embarrassed by the excessive praise that they receive. They feel burdened by the role that they are asked to play in the family. One mother told me: “My son is the flagship of the family who will lead us all to greatness.” Her son told me: “I just want to get off this endless treadmill and live my own life without having to meet my parents’ crazy expectations.”
Scenario 4: The Exhibitionist’s Admirer
Some children grow up in a Narcissistic household where there is an Exhibitionist Narcissist parent who rewards them with praise and attention as long as they admire and stay subservient to the parent. These children are taught Narcissistic values, but are discouraged from exhibiting themselves for admiration. Instead their role in the family is to uncritically worship the greatness of their Narcissistic parent without ever trying to equal or surpass that parent’s achievements.
This is an excellent way to create Covert or Closet Narcissists. The children learn that they will be given Narcissistic supplies—attention and praise—for not openly competing with the Narcissistic parent and that these supplies will be withheld and they will be devalued if they openly try to get acknowledged as special. All their value in the family comes from acting as a support to the ego of the Exhibitionist parent.
In adulthood, these children feel too exposed and vulnerable to be comfortable in the spotlight, so their Narcissism and self-esteem issues are less obvious to anyone who does not know them well. Some adapt to this role very well and lead productive lives in a job that involves supporting a high achieving Exhibitionist Narcissist whom they admire.
Example: Cindi and the “Great Man”
Cindi was the personal assistant of the CEO of her company. She admired him and lived to serve him. She felt special through association with him. She treasured any small bits of praise that she had received over the years from him and kept all the holiday and birthday cards he had given her. Cindi never married because she was so focused on her job and had Narcissistic values herself. Whenever she met men who wanted to date her, they always seemed lacking compared to her boss. As she explained to one of her girlfriends, “After working so closely with my boss, other men just seem too inferior to bother with.”
Punchline: Once you know what to look for, it is easy to see how certain childhood home environments support Narcissistic adaptations by the children. In some homes, becoming a Narcissist is often the only sane solution.
This article is based on three of my Quora.com posts:
- Are children of narcissist parents at risk of becoming narcissists themselves? (2/19/17)
- What goes wrong in early childhood development that could cause narcissistic personality disorder? (5/17/17)
- What makes someone a Narcissist? (5/22/17)
RE: Linh Tinh - LeThanhPhong - 2020-10-26
REPUBLICANS Laugh at Trump's Debate Clips
RE: Linh Tinh - LeThanhPhong - 2020-10-27
Delta Investigating Flight Attendant Who Called Out Passenger Wearing 'Just Deaf, Not Rude' Mask
https://www.paddleyourownkanoo.com/2020/10/25/delta-investigating-flight-attendant-who-called-out-passenger-wearing-just-deaf-not-rude-mask/
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TRUMP MOCKS REPORTER"S DISABILITY (TUESDAY)
RE: Linh Tinh - LeThanhPhong - 2020-10-27
A Fired-Up Obama’s 2020 Job: Guarding Biden and Needling Trump
https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/a-fired-up-obama-s-2020-job-guarding-biden-and-needling-trump/ar-BB1arCMw?ocid=msedgdhp
Glenn Thrush 1 hr ago
Former President Barack Obama bounded off the stage in Philadelphia last week after his debut as Joseph R. Biden Jr.’s 2020 battering ram and pronounced himself pumped — and even a bit delighted at the chance to troll his troll, President Trump.
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© Kriston Jae Bethel for The New York Times “Can you imagine if I had a secret Chinese bank account when I was running for re-election?” former President Barack Obama asked in Philadelphia recently, referring to a report about the president. “They would’ve called me Beijing Barry.”
“Oh man, that felt good,” Mr. Obama told a friend in a phone call — and he let Mr. Biden’s staff know that the ungainly format of the event, a “drive-in rally” where he addressed hundreds of supporters in cars in a stadium’s parking lot, had worked surprisingly well, according to several people close to the former president who spoke on the condition of anonymity to discuss private conversations.
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© Kriston Jae Bethel for The New York Times Supporters in Philadelphia listened as Mr. Obama spoke at the drive-in rally there last week.
In 2016, Mr. Obama took his whacks at Mr. Trump on behalf of Hillary Clinton. Then he stepped up his criticism of his successor during the 2018 midterm elections. This summer, during the virtual Democratic convention, he offered a damning jeremiad against the president, warning that Mr. Trump’s re-election would “tear our democracy down.”
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© Todd Heisler/The New York Times “Florida Man wouldn’t even do this stuff!” Mr. Obama said in Miami on Saturday. “Why do we accept it from the president of the United States?”
But nothing Mr. Obama has said during the Trump era compares with his gleeful slag-heaping of scorn upon Mr. Trump in the closing days of the 2020 campaign, part of a two-week burst of activity that will culminate in a joint rally with Mr. Biden being planned for this coming weekend, according to Democratic officials.
Mr. Obama’s next big event is on Tuesday, when he will appear in Orlando at a rally intended to energize voters in Florida, a perennial neck-and-neck battleground and Mr. Trump’s adopted home state. It will be Mr. Obama’s third appearance since he resumed in-person campaigning last week.
Mr. Obama’s return to the trail is driven by a desire to help Mr. Biden in any way he can, according to friends and Democratic aides. He has already lent his name to about 50 fund-raising emails on behalf of Mr. Biden and other Democrats, in addition to cutting get-out-the-vote ads appearing in 15 swing states and raising millions of dollars through online fund-raisers.
Above all, he has been eager to reverse roles with his loyal helpmate, these allies and associates say, and willing to throw punches that would undermine the former vice president’s image as a national healer if Mr. Biden took the swing himself.
It has also allowed Mr. Obama to have fun at a time when many Biden supporters have been anxiously following state polling averages in fear of a second Trump surprise. Mr. Obama is clearly relishing the chance to strike back at Mr. Trump, who has not only baited him for years but has also tried to eradicate his legacy, policy by policy.
“He’s plainly having a good time out there — like a guy with a lot of material to work with who’s been waiting a long time to share it,” said David Axelrod, a longtime campaign and White House adviser to the former president.
Mr. Obama kicked off the Philadelphia rally by giddily referring to a recent New York Times report that detailed previously unknown financial holdings of the president’s in China and other foreign countries.
“Can you imagine if I had a secret Chinese bank account when I was running for re-election?” Mr. Obama asked after ridiculing lower-than-expected recent TV ratings for the president and mocking him for contracting the coronavirus after flouting safety measures. “They would’ve called me Beijing Barry.”
At his second rally, on Saturday in a Miami parking lot, Mr. Obama went after Mr. Trump with an ear-to-ear smile that at times gave way to raw-nerve rage.
Popping up in Florida just as Mr. Trump arrived in West Palm Beach to cast his vote, the former president slammed his successor for mishandling the coronavirus pandemic, “fumbling” the economy, asking aides about selling Puerto Rico, musing about killing the virus by injecting disinfectant and once reportedly floating the idea of blasting hurricanes with nuclear weapons.
Mr. Obama concluded by comparing Mr. Trump, unfavorably, to the state’s signature meme, a feckless and addled Everyman known for bizarre and idiotic behavior.
“Florida Man wouldn’t even do this stuff!” Mr. Obama said. “Why do we accept it from the president of the United States?”
Mr. Trump took instant notice. “Nobody is showing up for Obama’s hate laced speeches,” the president wrote on Twitter moments after Mr. Obama had finished. “47 people! No energy, but still better than Joe!”
There were, in fact, dozens of cars at the event, and the Biden campaign said hundreds of potential attendees had been turned away to comply with social-distancing requirements.
Mr. Obama’s manicured vitriol falls considerably short of anything Mr. Trump might say in the course of a typical rally, and so far the post-speech fact-checks have been a comparatively light lift. An Obama staff member said that all of his preplanned zingers had been fact-checked.
But his tone, nonetheless, represents a sharp divergence from the 2016 summons by his wife, Michelle Obama, in support of Mrs. Clinton: “When they go low, we go high.”
Mrs. Obama, who has recorded videos for the Biden campaign, has no plans to appear at events in person this campaign, Democratic aides with knowledge of her plans said. Her husband, for his part, is intent on expending his political capital now, even if it involves abandoning his characteristic reluctance to sling insults at Mr. Trump, a man he has privately described as beneath contempt.
In meetings with Mr. Biden’s team over the summer, the former president — who seeks advice but makes all of his own scheduling and messaging decisions — mapped out a general schedule of in-person appearances in critical battleground states targeting Black voters and young people, the groups he believes are most receptive to his message.
In those conversations, Mr. Obama outlined the role of “happy warrior,” of attacking Mr. Trump directly in a way he had never done before, but with the lacerating humor he employed during his two campaigns for president.
Some of his slaps are spontaneous, but many have been carefully workshopped — including the “Beijing Barry” line, which was delivered the day before the final presidential debate and was deployed to defuse Mr. Trump’s attacks on business deals in China pursued by Mr. Biden’s son Hunter, aides said.
Mr. Obama’s bellicose approach had another benefit that was not immediately evident until he began working on his remarks this month, according to Democratic aides.
The former president believed that taking on the classic bodyguard role embraced by Mike Pence and previous Democratic vice-presidential candidates would enable Mr. Biden’s running mate, Senator Kamala Harris, to avoid having to make those attacks herself and remain largely above the fray.
Yet for all of his continued popularity with Democratic voters, Mr. Obama is not on the ticket in 2020 — and his frenetic late campaigning on behalf of Mrs. Clinton did not prove decisive four years ago.
And his presence, especially in a complex state like Florida, is not universally positive.
”Obama’s Cuba policies were deeply unpopular with many voters in Southern Florida, and for all of his post-presidency popularity, he also carries some real liabilities,” said Alex Conant, a veteran political consultant who worked for Senator Marco Rubio, a Cuban-American Republican who opposed Mr. Obama’s attempt to normalize relations with the government in Havana.
“Obama’s always been skillful at driving a message and twisting a knife,” Mr. Conant added. “But his political capital wasn’t transferable when he was president, and it’s unclear if it is now.”